No, this is not my autobiopic…
I NEED TO LOSE TEN POUNDS is the awe-inspiring, shot-on-video, Tromatic-style, indie equivalent of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, and it blows that shitbox Family Channel juggernaut out of the water.
Written by three 14 year-old boys (Frankie Frain, William Forte and Corey Huntington) and shot for around $1k by the same kids over the course of their next five years, I NEED TO LOSE TEN POUNDS tells the story of Miguel Pottington (the very likable Alan Desmarais), a ‘fat crap’ desperate to lose weight and fit in with the High School crowd. It is a musical comedy in the vein of Trey Parker’s CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL and has the humor inherent in all great Troma films – bodily functions, pimps, boobs and a goodly dose of social satire.
The film includes songs about corn, a goofy-voiced kid brother with leprosy on a quest to slay a mythical beast, condom ingestion, laxative abuse, ‘Booba Loobas’ and Richard Simmons’ evil plan for world domination through his ‘fat army’.
This could have very easily have come off as one more cheap, slapped-together gross-fest of the kind that molds the darkest shelves of Amazon.coms vast warehouses, but instead, the pure joy, exuberance and godforsaken love that these kids poured into this film are readily apparent and give it an aura of giddiness and effervescence that blur the technical shortcomings and amateur acting and singing and truly make you fucking believe! It hits upon real teen issues, like bulimia, sexual confusion, isolation and dealing with clueless, frightened parents who avoid having to talk about things like sex. This flick, however, does it in a fun, non-preachy and entirely understated way that makes them the matter-of-fact issues that they are for most of us. Every kid goes through these feelings and problems and most of us find a way to cope and move on. This is the first flick in a loooooooong time that has played with these themes without getting heavy, sappy or whiny. It’s just a healthy heaping helping of ripe cheese and teen funk.
Some of the highlights?
– Director Frankie Frain in a recurring cameo as a snappy, but deliciously disturbed physician who imparts gems of clueless wisdom in between conspiracy theories and outright malpractice.
– Co-writer Corey Huntington, first, as a recurring clerk in various local establishments, aping every nimrod kid you ever had bag your eggs with a 7 lb ham. He also plays the Mac-Daddy Big-Pimpin’ Silly Waunka, Master Pimp extraordinaire and arch nemesis of Richard Simmons.
– And the abso-frickin-goddamn-hilarious Mathew Zagar as Richard Simmons. The best part about Zagar’s Simmons is that he eschews all the glaring character traits of the real Simmons and plays the character as a classic melodramatic villain, Snidely Whiplash-style, without resorting to the flaming voice and flamboyant attitude. Just a really cool, bare-faced moustache-twirler in a bad red wig and short shorts.
The film was entered in the 2006 Tromadance festival, where it outgunned hundreds of other lo-bud films to win a distribution deal and a full-meal Troma Team Video release (which will be available soon).
If you’re in the mood for something B-movie campilicious without being overly gory, trashy or pretentious, you could not possibly do any better than this little gem, created by a few kids with big schemes, huge hearts and a little help from their friends.
I loved the hell out of this thing. It reminded me of what it was like to be an 18 year-old movie geek with a camcorder and unrestrained ambition. I hope Frain and his pals make another ten just like it. I have his next flick, A-BO THE HUMONKEY cued up for a week or two from now, so look for that review, coming soon. For now, you can order copies through Frain himself at JVCFelix@yahoo.com and check out the Official Site with downloads, BTS featurette, wallpapers and footage from the films premiere!
