Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy a *bad* movie, it certainly has to be a mood to enjoy something so ridiculously trashy and dumb though, but when that mood is right and the movie delivers on something so otherworldly of obnoxiously preposterous and dumb, it just hits the spot. Am I talking about movies like the Fast and the Furious franchise, absolutely, am I also talking about movies like The Room, you know it, and anything in between that large variation of things as well. This brings us to Jonas Govaerts H4Z4RD, otherwise known as Hazard. It’s 88 minutes of sheer chaos, stupidity, and my god why, and some of it works, some of it doesn’t work, but overall it doesn’t have enough insane oh my god what am I witnessing moments for it to be worthy of a rotational watch, but rather a single viewing.
The film focuses on Noah played by Dimitri ‘Vegas; Thivaios, yes the famous DJ, as he is asked by his girlfriend Lea played by Jennifer Heylen to pick up their daughter, Zita played by Mila Rooms. Shouldn’t be an issue until he has a ‘thing’ he has to do with his brother Carlos played by Jeroen Perceval. The ‘thing’ that Noah gets himself wrapped into is robbing Ms. Brasschaat played by Monic Hendrickx, and things of course awry and now Noah, Carlos, and Carlos’ acquaintance Kludde played by Frank Lammers are in for a ride of their life. Everything appears to be fine, when they escape, and Noah is about to go on with his day and life. When he goes to pick up Zita, he realizes she’s not there, and Ms. Brasschaat has her, and for her safe return, he must return the product was stolen which he no longer has. A deadly game kicks off, he has to retrieve the stolen merchandise, meet Ms. Brasschaat at her chosen time and place or lose his daughter.
What makes H4z4rd work, is the premise of the movie itself is a combination of Locke, Death Race, and every other dumb action heist ever made. However, what it lacks is a cast that can pack its charisma. There is so much this script lends to the actors to make the movie more fun than just action set pieces, but the lifeless performances are its biggest downfall. It’s just there is no care in the world or passion from these characters, they seem to just want to have a good time and move forward.
Aside from the lackluster performances, the set pieces do at least make the eighty eight minutes enjoyable for the most part, just the lack of conviction and charisma from the cast is the biggest detractor. Thankfully Jonas Govaerts with a script from Trent Haaga manage to tell a story, and direct a story that holds the attention of the audience, since their cast ultimately fails to do so. So strap yourself in for a mindless action flick with some bloody good fun.